she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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