Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
