Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
