whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
