i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
