There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
