oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no, he came in my armpit
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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