he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it's great music for shaving your balls
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
