There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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