what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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