this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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