You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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