i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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