Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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