My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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