she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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