I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
