Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
