youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
so much tequila, so little girl.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
