can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
