What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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