Don't make out with my wife yet
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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