I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
