You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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