I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
