im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Rumble strips road head = magical
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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