I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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