I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize