i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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