the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
