Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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