Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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