I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
