the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
