I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize