How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
