my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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