I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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