I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
