She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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