a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
