if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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