her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
