So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
