Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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