how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
How's work?
Spinning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize