I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize