why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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