I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
