I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
