That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
