just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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