my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
