I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
