i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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