I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My pussy is not your playground.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
