All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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