It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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