I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
