True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize