A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
